Spinning

i love the smell of propaganda in the morning

any words you might say, i have alt meanings
my public face is one of a few
got a coffin-full of bad news? i’m shoveling
throwing stones out of a glass world
to cover it
it’s not lying when you’re writing history

we’re turning negatives into positives
and turning positives into truth

never think you’re alone (only Raisa)
my dervish plates holding many hands
if i keep it in the bag while you’re drowning it
we can keep up a pretence it did not exist
are you dizzy? then consider yourself spun

we’re turning negatives into positives
and turning positives into truth
we’re turning positives into negatives
and turning negatives into truth

he hacked them on his own
so, how could you have known?
there’s plausible denial
from your redacted files
we gave them a name; someone small

we’re turning positives into negatives
then putting negatives onto you
and we’re deleting millions of emails
so you will never prove what we do

Imprint

i get that a lot: cold and wan
but i hide it away in this norm
and i start the day
lying for a moment on my old side
then i kiss your face,
watching as your eyelids flicker to life

i wake before you

i’m talking a lot in your dreams
though i don’t believe you recall this
still i persevere,
striving for a moment in your mind’s eye
when i’ll tell you things
that i would have told you at the right time

i wake before you

and my faces have all turned white
with all the shock of finding you were right
if you gave three chances
then three times i would break your heart
and break your heart and break your heart
then fly away

i did that a lot: calm and storm
now i’m growing inert as time goes on
when i slam the door in a quiet moment
toe the fault line, i find no one hears
and my pillow imprint shallows each time

i wake before you

Settle

the sensible boys dream of wilder girls
the wilder girls go for the wildest boys
it’s not a circle, a triangle
no, it’s an ancient chain that never fastens
a lesson in love that nobody learns
try, fail and repeat; tire, give up, pretend

why don’t you settle for me?
i know i’m nobody’s dream
but over time i know you’ll grow to love me

responsible man is following you
keeping you safe: from yourself at least
the wildest girl falls, i’m her safety net
in my mind it plays (cue the sunset fade)

why don’t you settle for me………..

now i’m drinking more, waiting and reckless
stagger from the bar
slumped against the brick
see your face appear, vague recognition
a look of feint disgust as he pulls you on

why don’t you settle for me?
i know i’m nobody’s dream
but over time i think you’ll grow to love me

ok i’ll settle for care

Over Me

if i told you all the ways
that we had burned the night away
would you close your ears and shrug at me?
though i’d never be so unkind
as to throw it in your face
i might mention her occasionally

all the poetry and the song you wrote
did you wear her down
(did it calm you down, my dear)?
wasn’t rock ‘n’ roll on your radio;
did she come around?

i don’t understand you
wanting to remain a friend to me
after everything, so openly
oh i know that i should feel
the guilt my actions guarantee
but it never seems to bother me

if it wasn’t me, it was somebody
she was on for chance
(she was bored to death with you)
i don’t really care (or share)
who could blame the girl
loving nonchalance?

hey, we don’t like it but we accept it

any pearls i give away
i find repeated down the line
but today she frowns….or doesn’t hear
and i’ve been slow in realising
that she glances all the time
she’s not over you, she’s over me
so over me

Somewhere Like Amsterdam

we were drops in the ocean
ripples in time no-one would ever see
we were told this so often
if it wasn’t for you, i think i would have believed
you were always the calm one, hiding yourself
backstreet mazes and quayside wondering
in-joke phrases like, “don’t die wandering”

dreams of Amsterdam
expressing an opinion when no one even asked for it
schemes and making plans
we said that we would go there but we never did

we escaped in a trailer
though i doubt that the search was exactly APB
but we weren’t to know that
so we coloured our names and our hair
and eventually, someone needed the labour
started from there

nights spent walking in the new life we’d lead
our canal boat; cycling through streets

dreams of Amsterdam….

now we’re famous in this place, though it took us forever
and we’ve travel cyberspace, so we’ve ‘seen’ everything
but all i really need’s your face

avatars with their cameras
we encouraged them all to explore
experience all the places we’d dreamt of
though they always return with their tales
they’re both of us
oh we bought the canal boat…for closer waters

sometimes you whisper, “let’s go wandering”
“anywhere”, i say.”……anywhere round here”

dreams of Amsterdam….somewhere like Amsterdam

we were only the makers

Take 22

i can feel it slip away again and i’m grabbing for the tail
well, it used to be they’d pixelate
now it’s body parts on pixel dates
and mutilation is arranged, as operating systems change
core memory, estranging, disengaging itself

‘cause i don’t know how to take 2
there’s no rewinding
if the moments come, they go soon
there’s no:
taking turns; guiding app; voice control; half frame
in this fast-burn world

i’ve been stealing every scene for days
and i’m waiting in the wings
but she’s early and her lines have changed
and it’s happening again
i’m hesitating in the rain, wishing i could raise my face
old melodies, keys changing, rearranging themselves

‘cause i don’t know how to take 2; there’s no rewinding
if the moments come, they go soon
there’s no:
taking turns; pause the game; beta life; half frame
in this fast-burn world

no scriptwriter to take the blame
i mumble when i take the stage
old tragedies, words changing but essentially the same

‘cause i don’t know how to take 2; there’s no rewinding
if the moments come, they go soon in this fast world
there’s no slowing down, only keeping up
there’s no: pause the game; taking turns; voice control
no-one’s counting in
there’s no: voice of god; voice control; beta life
no-one’s editing

Snowblind

despite my face, i’m a worried man in a wonderland
you give space, pouring latitude on my attitude
but if you’re playing me, i’ll burn your house down
and if you’re hiding things, i’ll turn you upside down

i’m a little bit snowblind

you’re always straight
that you see your friends and have fun with them
and if i’m late, well you’re unconcerned
i’m a little burned
your smile is radiant, i’m in a whiteout
your laugh’s infectious when i’m trying hard to frown

i’m a little bit snowblind

for all my warrior display
i find i’m dressing to your taste
and i no longer think about escape

watch this space
as it disappears from between my ears
throwing shapes is just so the day before yesterday
the doorless corridors you pull me on through
i can’t stop thinking you’re too good to be true
it’s just i’ve never met anyone like you

and i’m a little bit snowblind
a little bit snowblind

Grey Sky Thinking

who needs sunshine every day?
it becomes familiar
i love autumn in the rain
and the forgotten times
i could dwell amongst the photographs
of perfect holidays
but life is too short
to chalk off ‘between days’

still, everyone’s in the blue sky line
everyone’s thinking blue skies, blue skies

when it’s grey, i get it done
nothing to distract me
all my best ideas have come
under foreboding skies
a blanket hides the stars from dreamers
gazing way beyond their reach
our nimbus patterns hold my fascination

but everyone’s in the blue sky line……..

got something to tell you
got something to shell you
poisonous creatures love it too
escaping the deluge
temporary refuge only

but everyone’s in the blue sky line……..

everyone’s in the
no try
no cry
no die
blue sky line

Missing Words

i’m going nowhere
my numbers came too late
dwelling on what might have been
this room is for you
i’m waiting on the bed
holographic me-not-me

i’m holding my head up
i’m living life in bitter kindness

i flicker sometimes
this static in my brain
beating paths to no door
but my programmer says
she’s filling every space
all the words i used to be

i’m folding my head up
compressing life with modern violence

i’m dressing in bold colors; so novel
and my moods are generated for me
but lover, only you
can finish any sentence you want to

only you

when you’re lonely
i say you’re better off this way
living with the best of me
and i’m fooling no one
i’m praying without faith
sliding down into the sea

i’m folding my head up
compressing life with modern violence

i’m posting my terror
i’m living life in modern silence

i’m going nowhere

Stopover

i crossed to your world in a day
then felt myself a world away
unprepared and overdressed
i saw your friends were unimpressed
struggling to acclimatise
reluctantly, i told the lies
i thought that you would want to hear
that only fate had led me here

i’ve been thinking about those times
bathing them in a golden hue
i wear my tinted spectacles
but the longer that i view
the more the thorns dig in

i miss the change you brought to me
i miss you too, occasionally
i knew of course, that i’d revert
gradually but nonetheless
along the way, as we broke up
i’d steal the chance to take a look
those stopovers you introduced
were far too easily seduced

i’ve been thinking about those times….

with all the pressure brought to bear
i knew you’d kick me out of there
at least i saved an awkward scene
by melting away silently
i couldn’t stand to go straight home
i drifted with the backpackers
i met some strange and lovely girls
who didn’t mind being stopovers
or saw me as a stopover

i wonder if they got there?

i wonder if i’ll get there?